Lately I have been thinking a lot about worthiness. Do you have the right to be an artist? Call yourself an artist? Actor? Writer? Entertainer? Am I worthy enough?

I'm sure anyone and everyone has felt this way at some point or another. Evil, evil thinking, all it will do is bring you down.

The definition of worthy: deserving effort, attention or respect. Everyone deserves that. I have to remind myself of this all the time, but regardless of the path we take. We are all worthy, worthy because we are alive. That is a accomplishment by it's self. 

Follow your dreams, your gut, yourself because its worth it.

Good bye 2013 and ALOHA TO 2014! What a amazing year! I lost someone very dear to me this past year but I am greatfull for the beautiful life she let me share with her. I love you Gram Gram. I am so blessed and luck to have a ew Puppy, New Trips, New Tours, NEW NEW NEW! LOVE IT!

A LOT HAS HAPPENED!

NEW HEADSHOTS, NEW AGENT! J.R. Dib at Malaky International. I had a wonderful response for my mail out, about a 50% callback ratio. I can’t believe I was the one holding me back from finding new representation. Ha… ok maybe I can believe it was me holding me back, isn’t it always. I am so grateful for this man, it has only been a month and I have had 3 auditions with some substance. Auditions I couldn’t get myself, and that is the major point. KNOCK ON WOOD I BOOK ONE!

This business is hard, really hard, but we like the punishment. There is a certain pride you have when you are struggling for a dream. There are so many out there that won’t even take the leap of faith and for those of us that have, it comforts us in hard times to know that we are still trying. I’m not sure if you get to the top because you deserve to or you where still in the room when your chance finally came but I’m gonna stick it out as long as I can.  How long can you tread water?

Maybe that’s why actors become these artsy fartsy positivity gurus, it becomes a wall against the constant beat down… keeps us moving forward, keeps the hope alive. When I see people first get to LA their passionate fire burns so hot it can rally the people around them, it takes 3-6 years before that flame goes out and you need to learn how to keep it lit. I have had a few second winds in my young life already and here is the next one. LOVE IT! Invigorating! Gonna ride and pump this wave for as long as I can (surfing reference). Surfs up bra!

What does that mean? Well, let’s start with last Friday. 

April 12th, 2013 was a beautiful day. I had breakfast with my mother and grandmother at Norms in West L.A. Norms because it’s one of the easiest places for breakfast that also has great handicap bathrooms, since I have the honor to help my grandmother in later years this feature is very important to me. I love spending time with my family, and because we are three generations. That won’t be forever and that’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s the reality of life and I know I’ll regret it if I don’t spend time like with  these crazy ladies. Honored.

Then off to Death Valley, with my wonderful, beautiful bestest bud! Leolani Gallardo and she was shooting her next music video.  She’s a Tahitian Dancer and Teacher, I am so incredibly proud of her. This girl is my best friend and we dance Hawaiian Hula together as children, competed as children in Hawaiian Hula Competitions; on the mainland and in Hawaii. Some of my best childhood memories are with Leolani and Hawaiian dance... ok and sleepovers with our favorite movie “Romy and Michelle’s High school Reunion.” She is one of the most artistic creators I have ever seen grow and dance their way into their own style. This girl could bring the Polynesian world to the front of the whole world and in 2013, not the 90’s. I’m going to post her next video but till then look her up!

Leo got some beautiful shots of her dancing Tahitian to moderns music and lack of a better term “ WORKIN IT!” While my wonderful boyfriend Kyle and I had our own photo shoot in the beautiful desert. (Side: Romanic and fun idea, why didn’t I do this earlier!) Back drops like Sand Duns, white salt deserts, incredible sunrises and sunsets. Artisans Pallet is so beautiful it looks like it’s has been airbrushed. Death Valley is just so vibrant and so hot! Gez it was hot, we shot in the morning and dusk and tried to survive in the sweltering heat. Pretty though.

A wonderful weekend and a very tragic Monday, the Boston Marathon bombing. My heart, hope, prayers and when its available money, goes out to those families in need. I have been struggling with this all day, this really hurts. I have lived threw my share of horrific moments in the past years. I am always horrified and angry but never this hurt before. I have no one I know personally in this but just the sheer fact that this was a attack on people, just ordinary people. Not a government building, not a business but humans, humans trying to better themselves and live happy lives with wonderful traditions. The evil that happened today and the deaths and injuries to our athletes, to our neighbors, it’s beyond horrible and evil. A word I can’t find to explain how horrific whomever did this is and the days I will never forget.

Dealing with death is hard any way you put it, dealing with the world we live in or being with someone you love as they leave it. As hard as it is, I pray for strength and Boston.

Trying t to figure out how to post these blogs, so... no one is reading this... BUT ONE DAY SOMEONE WILL... one day someone will

As I type on this beautiful day so early in the spring time, I can’t help think of new beginnings. Pandora turns on and it’s a rare occurrence when a song comes on and just is, well perfect. “Feeling Good” Michael Buble, It’s Time. Amongst the smog, and the fog I surrounded myself in… it’s still a beautiful day and this is the day I turned on my first website! YEAH!!!

 “Feeling Good” Michael Buble
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI